That’s the lie I tell myself every day. I’m not fine. My mom is dying. I’m not trying to be over dramatic. It’s a fact. Since Memorial Day, she has had 5 falls. All of which have set her back in one way or another. She’s not orientated to her surroundings and can’t care for herself on her own anymore. 

According to the nursing home she’s in now, they don’t think that she’s going to be able to return to assisted living. They think that she’ll need around the clock care. Currently, her bed is all the way on the floor with mattresses on either side of her so that she can’t fall and hurt herself. 

I don’t know when the end will come, but it’s quickly approaching. She’ll be going on hospice soon. So the next time you ask me how I’m doing, and I tell you that I’m fine, I want you to know that I’m lying. Not because I want to lie, but because it’s easier than telling the truth. 

4 Comments on I’m Fine

  1. Barbara McGarry
    June 11, 2018 at 8:05 pm (6 months ago)

    Kristen…of course you’re not fine. It has always been so obvious that you adore your mother and that she adores her daughter. I cannot imagine how painful this is for you, for her, and your family. My thoughts are with you as you go through this stage. Much love to you all.

    Reply
  2. Gail
    June 11, 2018 at 8:35 pm (6 months ago)

    Oh Krissy. We’re so sorry to hear how everything has progressed. Wish it better, & know it isn’t. Can you send me your phone number please? Is Jill’s sister there? We send you, Liam, & Steven many hugs & our love to you!!

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth Christeller
    June 11, 2018 at 9:32 pm (6 months ago)

    Cherish the time you have left. Hugs

    Reply
  4. Kathee Hixon
    June 11, 2018 at 10:27 pm (6 months ago)

    I surely understand your mindset. It is so difficult to watch our parents disintegrate before our eyes. You may not know this but I have prayed continuously this whole last year. Not really knowing exactly what was taking place, the Lord just nudged me so often to pray for your mom that she would be able to totally function for herself. Then for you, as you carried the weight of responsibility for the events taking place. That is a a heavy load. Even though however, He has given you the wisdom, heart, and strength to do whoever was needed. So when you say “I am fine” I really know the real meanin behind those words. Take care and know I am still in prayer for you and all the family.

    Reply

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